I would like to propose a new online shortcut, an acronym that can be used at appropriate times: YHINW
It stands for “Your Help is NOT Wanted” and the “Y” is intended to refer to a specific person, not everyone on the channel on group or forum you’re using. Just the one person that’s being kind of a jerk.
For example, you ask a question about some piece of software, and you get this: RTFM — which, as we all know, stands for “Read The Fine Manual” (okay, I know F doesn’t really stand for “Fine”, but I try not to drop the F-bomb unless somebody or something really ticks me off.) Often, what they are really saying is, “I don’t know the answer offhand (or I’m just too lazy to type a couple of meaningful sentences that might help you along), but I think maybe it might be in the manual, if an actual manual even exists — maybe it’s just one of those awful MAN pages that tells you everything you DON’T want to know, but only maybe touches on what you do want to know, if you can decipher it. In any case, I’m much too superior/busy/arrogant to give you any real help.” YHINW.
See, if you’re going to tell someone to RTFM, the very least you can do is assume they might have already tried that, and maybe give them a bit more specific information. For example, “Look at the MAN page, search for the phrase {whatever} and it’s right under that.” That would be actually helpful, and doesn’t take that much more time – unless, of course, the person making the RTFM comment has never actually looked at the manual/man page himself, and has no idea where the information might be. Anyway, let he who has read every page of every manual for every piece of software, every hardware device, every household appliance and every vehicle he’s ever owned — and understood every single word of those documents — be the first to cast a RTFM.
A similar situation is where you ask how to do something, and some jackass replies, “F***ing Google It.” YHINW. Telling someone to use Google to find something is actually a perfectly valid response, but maybe you should assume they don’t have your searching skills, so offer something like “Try Google using these search terms (or phrases)” and make a couple suggestions. It’s pretty daunting when you try to Google to discover how to do something, and you get 5,000,000 possible results, and none of the ones in the first five or ten pages of results give you anything remotely close to the answer. If you can’t even suggest some good search words or phrases, then maybe it’s you that lacks intelligence and imagination, not the person who posted the question.
Then there is the breed of jerk that haunts forums related to non-Windows machines or software. You ask how to do something that is easily doable in Windows, and they give you a lecture about how you’re not using Windows anymore and you shouldn’t be trying to do that anyway. Or they propose some “solution” that isn’t even close to what you asked about, and suggest that’s how you ought to be doing things, and if you don’t immediately take their advice with sufficient gratitude they flame you into oblivion as not being worthy to use that particular software, operating system, or computer — and if they’re in a particularly lousy mood, they may cast aspersions on your general character and intelligence. Oh, puh-leeze — YHINW. If you really don’t know of any way to do what I’m asking, than why not just STFU (if you don’t know that acronym, it’s sort of the written equivalent of “shut your pie hole”) instead of taking the opportunity to prove you’re an arrogant bastard that acts as though he was born with a computer keyboard in hand, and infinite knowledge in his brain (leaving no room for manners or basic social skills).
Even good advice, given with too much attitude and arrogance, will not usually be appreciated. You might even be right, but come off like a jackass and the recipient of your advice will not thank you (that’s particularly true when it’s unsolicited advice — keep that in mind at your next family gathering).
I really don’t tolerate these types of people well. My theory is, if you can’t offer something helpful and constructive — or if you can’t offer it without exhibiting a serious attitude — then just keep your fingers off the damn keyboard. Let someone else answer, or let everyone ignore the original poster if no one knows the answer or wants to help. There is no shame in keeping silent, rather than coming off as an arrogant jerk. There have been times you’ve needed help — would you have appreciated a smart-ass comment instead of real help? And if that actually happened to you, I’m sorry — the world can be a cruel place sometimes — but why not try making it a better place instead of passing on the misery to someone else? Remember, karma is a bitch!
Subscribe to The Michigan Telephone blog
