Image via Wikipedia
I got an e-mail from someone today that really surprised me, in part because he wrote to me in the first place, but mostly because I guess he thought I’d side with him. He was having problems getting a piece of equipment to work and he had contacted the manufacturer’s technical support, and it was quite obvious to me that this guy was a total jerk and a know-it-all that would not follow directions. The manufacturer, of course, tried to be nice to him, because he was a customer. But I was under no such obligation. Here’s part of what I told him:
You are either incompetent or a know-it-all when it comes to computer networking, and I suspect it’s a mixture of both. It appears that you think you know what you’re talking about, but it’s obvious that you know even less about networking than I do, and believe me when I say that’s not a complement!
Now in case you are wondering, I don’t usually respond to people this way, but one thing that REALLY rubs me the wrong way is people who act like they are experts on a particular subject when it is painfully obvious they don’t know shit, and that was the case here. And beyond that, this guy had the nerve to tell the tech support people that their product was poorly engineered, when it was pretty obvious to me that the rest of his network wasn’t exactly top quality equipment (including a brand of router that I’d normally avoid, although I suspect his problems with not so much with the router per se as how he’d tried to configure it).
In any case, there was just something about the entire tone of his e-mail that made me think “this guy is a f—ing moron” the minute I read it. And this has to be the type of guy tech support people hate. It appeared that rather than trying their suggestions, he just wanted to argue. When he wrote to me, he made several statements that were factually incorrect, and when I tried to set him straight, of course he wrote back and tried to argue with me.
Anyway, this is NOT the approach you take when trying to get an issue resolved. I know it is maddening when customer support people act like you’re totally clueless, but trust me, that’s because a good percentage of the people who contact them ARE clueless to some degree. Indeed, we’ve probably all been clueless at times — who among us has not freaked out over a non-working piece of equipment, only to discover that it was only a disconnected cable or a switch that inadvertently got toggled off. But some people seem to make cluelessness into a new art form. See the site “Not Always Right” if you need examples (or a bit of humor in your day).
Don’t be one of those people. If you ask for help from tech support, try their suggestions and don’t assume that you know more than they do. If you’re calling on the phone and you really think that you’re talking to someone who isn’t helping you at all, try politely excusing yourself and hanging up, waiting an hour or two, and calling back — perhaps you will get a different person that will be better able to assist you. If you’re e-mailing and the person on the other end doesn’t seem to be getting it, consider that maybe you did a poor job of communicating your issue in the first place and try again (try getting a knowledgeable friend to help, if you can). And when talking to front-line customer support people, try to deal with one issue at a time — if you’re having problems getting a piece of equipment to communicate over the internet, don’t also bring up that some unrelated feature isn’t working in the same ticket. Deal with the most important issue first, and then maybe you can work on the smaller ones. If at some point you happen to reach an upper-level technician then that advice may or may not be valid, depending on your likelihood of ever being able to communicate with that person in the future, but most of the time it’s best to deal with separate issues separately.
Now, it goes without saying that there ARE companies (far too many, in fact) that have horrible customer service, and I’m not trying to give those companies a free pass here. But when you become “the customer that knows everything”, you really do alienate the customer support people. I’m not going to end with that old flies – honey – vinegar bromide (who in the f—k ever thought it would be a good idea to use an analogy that involves catching flies?) but the point is that if you are reasonably nice to them and don’t come off like a dumbass or a know-it-all, you are much more likely to get your problem resolved.
Oh, and one other thing — if you e-mail me and I think you are a moron, don’t be surprised if I tell you that in my reply, IF I bother to reply. You want someone to sugarcoat the truth for you, go talk to your mother. You are not my customer, I am not your technical support, and I’m not your shoulder to cry on when you aren’t getting your way because you’re playing the part of the jerk.
Leon Baker said
Well said. That made my morning. That’s good advise that I don’t get to give out as I’m usually on the support side.
Leon
Jimi said
As someone who has worked in traditional retail, who in my age bracket hasn’t? And also someone who worked on a DSL help desk it is nice to see someone write about this issue.
Although it is maddeningly frustrating, both from the end of a customer and a tech support person, the truth is a lot of tech support places work from a script that is forced upon them from the higher ups and they HAVE to use it. So, while your problem may exist at the H or I level, they are required by the company to go through A-G first.
I was fortunate in the fact that the DSL company I worked for recognized by ability to troubleshoot and I was given leeway to deviate from the script as I saw fit. However, I still encountered many instances such as described in your writing; people calling in absolutely convinced it was our equipment that was bad, when in fact it was something in their setup, I’ve included a few instances of this below just to give you a chuckle.
1. Customers internet went out at the same time each night, as luck would have it he was calling during that time bracket. As I was on the phone with him he told me it just went out, just before that I heard him saying good night to his kids, some quick thinking and having him check wires revealed his modem/router were plugged into an electrical socket controlled by the light switch the kids turned off before going to bed.
2. Customer had a wireless router connected to DSL modem and had trouble maintaining connection. When asked to physically check the equipment he stated “It’s all the way up in the attic.” As much as I wanted to I could not ask him why it was in the attic, instead in my best customer support voice I explained to him how the equipment is set to ideally broadcast outwards and upwards from itself and really does a poor job of broadcasting down. Once the equipment was in a better location it worked fine. ((And honestly, why would you put it all in the attic??))
Cheers and Happy Tuesday!
Dave Lucas said
If only everyone could be a straight-shooter like you…